Cleave Unto Your Spouse

Week Seven:

Sexual Intimacy and Family Life

      This week’s material was great and precious, but it didn’t pass my mind without flushing my face every once and a while; the topics are a little sensitive. In short, this week we talked all about the physical realm of intimacy within marriage, and the joys and stressors that could be involved there with. I hope that I can convey these topics that I found interesting in the most sensitive and pure way, as to not soil their amazing nature. I also wish to discuss a little on infidelity and remaining ‘true’ to our spouses.

        To start off, I want to make a connection from a couple weeks ago regarding gender differences. We all have come to a common consensus that women and men are innately different and through their differences make a more perfect union. Well the same is true in the sexuality of both genders, they are both different! Both genders appreciate and love having close relationships and total fidelity within those relations, but the way that men and women; become aroused, feel connected, and reach their peak sexuality are very different. 

        In a broad overview of the differences, men usually reach their peak sexual desire and enjoyment at age eighteen. Which seems young but accurate. Whereas women develop their peak sexuality almost two decades after the male, at around thirty-five. Why such a difference? Well there can be many reasons and to point them out would be great, but I want to draw this idea on the next large difference which is sexual arousal.

        Men commonly reach arousal faster than women, it’s almost like comparing a microwave to an oven. Women take more time to warm up and get in the mood and require feelings of safety, security, and connection to reach the same arousal. When aroused women can usually last much longer than the male and can reach an orgasm frequently. Also, men have the desire to have sex strongly about every three days, where women have the strongest desires right before they begin ovulating.

       So, what does this have to do with the age difference? I believe that men, especially young men may lack self-control and may be more compulsive. If women and men were so sexually active without inhibition at such a young age, there would be so many issues with unwanted pregnancies, poor families, and destitute mothers. Maybe these internal clocks and differences are actually vital to the protection of all men, women, and families.

      All these facts are so interesting and deeply sacred, and I can go on and on about them, but the point of my class is about building and maintaining healthy marriages that are eternal in nature, not arousal patterns! The great thing about the differences between men and women is that the differences actually draw us together, and the closer we are in a marriage the happier it tends to be. This takes work, communication, trust, love, touch, courting. It’s a long beautiful ride and needs all the proper attention. The differences spur on the relationship and make it deeply gratifying and loving. 

      In my life though, I have unfortunately seen a lot of marriages and relationships that do fall victim to the adverse side effects of ill-advised and poor planning within the marriage. Also, with infidelity. I don’t know or see how these issues transpire, just the issues that come as a result. And let me tell you, these heartaches and stressors are not worth the frivolous and fruity plastic that is cheating.

      There are ways to avoid this after all, I believe that once a couple is married it is the duty and joy of both parties to begin reconstructing how they interact with members of the opposite sex from then on. Its beneficial to consider who you may spend your time with, what type of communication is shared, and how you personally feel about them. In anyway are the feelings more than short and professional then stop and redraw those boundaries. 

This stuff can mean everything down the road as marriages ebb and flow, please please please always stand in holy places and treat others in an appropriate way. 

      This is Gods design, this is His divinity, what an honor it is to be involved in this great system and ability to be like Him.