The Right Fatherly Goals

Week Ten:

Fathers and Finance

      You know, it’s an interesting experience when you go through situations and learn of their importance many years down the road. I learned things this week that really did surprise me and consider how I came out to be the adult that I am today. The principles that I learned are simple and vital to the health of families, but I feel like they are often the most ignored and disregarded family principles to date. Almost all forms of modern society really do trash on the traditional family structure and its roles, it’s almost impossible to argue otherwise, but sometimes those simple traditional ways are the best. This week I learned a lot about the role of the father in the home and his role to his wife and children. I learned a lot about some statistics surrounding the father and his position in today’s world. In a lot of ways, it is dismal, and people really don’t appreciate or understand the father role, but that is a sound reason for you and me to reconsider how we look at fatherhood and what our roles are.

     For starters, let’s look at a statistic. In America thirty-nine percent of children are born into a family without a father. This is astonishingly high and honestly comes as no surprise when we look at a lot of modern families and their problems. I considered all of the individuals that I know of that had an estranged father relationship in the family. There was a lot of people that came to mind. In my memory and recollection, I saw a lot of patterns that surfaced in these people. From drug and alcohol abuse, to sexual promiscuity, to angry patterns of violence. There was also instances of emotional distress and pain because the father was not there. It broke my heart thinking that these issues surfaced in my own family through abandonment and death, all the negative consequences always seemed to snowball. All because of the strong natural patriarch was not there to do his job, to lead, provide, and preside. ( love as well )

     But I know some instances of families where the parent structure was normal, and dad was around. But the family still struggled, and the children still got into trouble. What was the deal? I thought that fathers were able to prevent these outcomes. But what I learned is that even though a father is around the family, he may not be acting as a father. If the dad fails to inspire confidence in his wife and kids, tried to teach and lead by example, or is emotionally absent. Then it as if the father was not there, and he may have just filled the role of ‘bread-winner’.

But this is not right! Unfortunately, in our world we currently live in, fathers do just fit the role of making income instead of being around his family. This is not his fault as urban culture has many of us men leave our families for hours each day. This inadvertently causes the exact issues we all want to absolve. ( think of rich mean kids that had no dad to be with them )

     So, can this change? Can families be saved by fathers working with their wives to make a plan? I believe so.

     In my life, I have come from a line of poor family examples. In my young adult hood I have looked for the holes that were developed and have made a honest effort to plan a life where I can make better decisions for my future family. 

     For starters I have picked a career where I will be able to work from home and stay in town. Unlike my father who is a pilot, I should be able to be around my children and wife more to make a household where everyone works together. I also have taken it upon myself to learn about the ins and out of gardening and horticulture so I can raise a family away from toxic urban environments so we can work together in a honest natural way that cannot be faked. Children see through poor examples, and it is hard to fake lessons learned through nature and accumulative work. 

     So, I have a plan to be a good dad, I hope I can make it a reality! Its my greatest goal. I hope all of you consider how you spend your time with your families, it will make all the difference down the road.